I accepted a job offer! It's with a small financial planning and investment management firm in midtown Manhattan. It's a bit ironic that after leaving NYC for Arizona, Asia and NJ, that I am now planning on being back in Manhattan again - and get this, the office is 2 blocks away from my last job! LOL. But honestly, I feel that this time around things will be different. You (and God) are my witnesses - I will not allow this job or the busyness of life to take priority over my relationship with Him. I don't want to just go through the motions. I want to wake up each day excited about what God has in store for me. I want to enjoy each moment and take advantage of all the great things about the city and the surrounding area that I overlooked or never had the chance to see. I want to be open and obedient to where and how God wants me to serve in and outside of church.
This job search has been a really interesting and rewarding experience. Even though at times I stressed myself out unnecessarily, for the most part, it was fairly painless and peaceful. God totally gave me favor and was so gracious to me in this whole process, which took about 5 weeks. I took my time and made contact with people that I knew, I did not use a head hunter, I applied for less than 10 jobs on monster.com, I interviewed with 3 firms and got 3 offers. Sure, they were probably not the most competitive positions in the world, but nevertheless, in this job market, I am very thankful. What was particularly interesting is that throughout the past month, I prayed for God to open doors that He wants opened and to close doors that He wants closed. And looking back on it, none of the 3 firms that I interviewed with were the result of referrals from people that I've known for a long time. One was an introduction made by the man that teaches the young adults group at church - he forwarded my resume to his friends ONE DAY after meeting me and realizing that I was looking for a job. The second was a response to a monster.com posting. The third was a firm that I read about in an article and I thought they sounded like a great company, so I looked up their website and emailed one of the principals. I didn't even know if they were hiring or not at the time. These 3 opportunities are very different in terms of location, business model, what my role would be, so it made the decision tougher, but more interesting. It's almost like God closed the doors that I had thought would be opened and opened doors that I didn't know existed!
I kept flip-flopping among the 3 firms, it's like I wanted to work for the firm that I spoke with last. I knew I was being emotional and it can't be an emotional decision. So I thought how can I be as objective and logical as possible in this situation? Then I remembered. I spent hours updating my resume and a good friend of mine suggested that I put a professional objective at the top of my resume so recruiters will know what type of job I am looking for. I put a lot of thought into my objective when I first started this process. I took out my resume and re-read my objective. The answer became very clear. I made my decision with peace. Occasionally the thought that maybe it's not the right decision still pops up but I try to disregard it.
I am so thankful for the Lord's grace and favor. He could have allowed me to suffer through painful interviews where I can't answer certain questions or feel embarrassed. The people I met could have been rude and condescending. I could have not gotten any interviews at all. But He chose to give me favor because He loves me. Even though I am not perfect, even though I got annoyed at my parents for asking me about my offers because I was stressed out, even though I don't consider myself great in interviews and don't know as much as I should about the financial markets, God still has the final say. And that's a very comforting thing to know.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
2008 Wedding #2
After going to the church in NJ with my parents for a few weeks, one of the guys in the young adults group invited me to his wedding, which I thought was a really nice gesture considering we had only talked twice. The wedding was this past Sunday, everything was so beautiful. There was a fountain and patio outside and tons of delicious food during cocktail hour. I think I was full before the reception started! I met a friend of Pascual's from Wheaton and my old boss from the bakery I used to work at in high school. What a small world huh?
The reception was awesome. At first, most of the guests were fairly shy and didn't want to get up and dance. But the MC did a great job of getting people involved and onto the dance floor. The high school boys were really cute, showing off in the center of the circle. I realized how old I was when people started doing the 'superman'. Whatever happened to the electric slide? Hahahaha. For once though, FOR ONCE, there were more boys than girls at a wedding. And still, the single girls were sitting during the slow dances. Pathetic. I asked a girl at my table to dance. After some coercing she agreed. It was fun, strange, but fun. I'm sure we looked ridiculous but honestly I really didn't care! I have decided that I am making all the male guests at my wedding dance with the female guests, hahahahaha!
One thing at the reception that I thought was neat was the big screen TV that showed videos of the Chinese tea ceremony earlier that day, baby pictures of the bride and groom and pictures of guests at the reception, including some live video of us on the dance floor! There was a 'dance crew' that led the group in a bunch of silly dances, which was great. Everyone, including the Chinese parents, were getting into it!
Pictures of people at my table, most of whom I know from church, I just realized how many glasses there were at the table!
Our congo line was AWESOME, I don't think I've ever seen a better one, seriously! We ended up forming a swirl like a cinnabon!
The reception was awesome. At first, most of the guests were fairly shy and didn't want to get up and dance. But the MC did a great job of getting people involved and onto the dance floor. The high school boys were really cute, showing off in the center of the circle. I realized how old I was when people started doing the 'superman'. Whatever happened to the electric slide? Hahahaha. For once though, FOR ONCE, there were more boys than girls at a wedding. And still, the single girls were sitting during the slow dances. Pathetic. I asked a girl at my table to dance. After some coercing she agreed. It was fun, strange, but fun. I'm sure we looked ridiculous but honestly I really didn't care! I have decided that I am making all the male guests at my wedding dance with the female guests, hahahahaha!
One thing at the reception that I thought was neat was the big screen TV that showed videos of the Chinese tea ceremony earlier that day, baby pictures of the bride and groom and pictures of guests at the reception, including some live video of us on the dance floor! There was a 'dance crew' that led the group in a bunch of silly dances, which was great. Everyone, including the Chinese parents, were getting into it!
Pictures of people at my table, most of whom I know from church, I just realized how many glasses there were at the table!
Our congo line was AWESOME, I don't think I've ever seen a better one, seriously! We ended up forming a swirl like a cinnabon!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Wisdom
So this week has been a bit stressful in terms of job interviews and potentially making a decision by Friday about where I'm going to spend 40+ hours per week for at least the next couple of years. When I thought about not being able to spend such a beautiful weekday like today sitting in the back yard, looking at the sky, trees, flowers and squirrels, I got a bit sad.
Today was a rough day - just thinking about the alternatives ahead of me and not knowing exactly what the right path is. I've talked to many people, all of whom have spent their precious time listening to me ramble and giving me great advice. Each time I talk to someone, I get a little more insight into the situation, as each person said something I never thought about or reminded me of something I knew. I kept thinking that I had 3 offers, but a friend pointed out that I CAN keep looking if I didn't like them. I kept thinking that I wanted to make a decision by Friday, but a friend pointed out that I can make them wait if I don't have an answer by then. I thought perhaps I can justify taking the safer desk job by being free after 5pm everyday to do whatever God calls me to do. But I also should be using the gifts that God gave me at the workplace. What if I fail at the more challenging position? Well, if it doesn't work out after a couple of years, leave and do something else, you can always get a desk job later.
God's really awesome, He's surrounded me with great people who have been very supportive. I talked to a new friend (he used to be a pastor) this evening about this whole job thing, and he was so encouraging and prayed for me over the phone and suggested that I read this book on knowing the will of God. He also suggested I look through bible.org, where I found an article on 'wisdom and the will of God', which I read through briefly. It's interesting because in the article it quoted Proverbs a lot, because it's a book about God's wisdom written by the wisest man, King Solomon, to have lived or ever will live. Just earlier today I read about King Solomon and how he prayed for a heart of discernment and understanding during his reign and God honored his request (I am reading the Old Testament through so it 'just so happened' that I read about him today).
After dinner, I said to my dad that my biggest 'fear' is that I will make the wrong decision. He said something that I'd heard before but it really hit home when he said it. "We've all been praying that God is going to lead you in this next step, and we trust that He is in control and will lead you. So if He is leading you, then whatever you choose IS the right decision, you have to have faith in that." Awesome. Before he went to bed, he came in my room with a piece of paper and he says to read it before I go to sleep. It said 'James 1: 5-8'. I knew it was the verses about wisdom. I looked it up and saw that these verses were underlined in my Bible. "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting..." AMEN. God is cool.
In the middle of my conversation with my cousin Jessica (who does not yet believe in God, yes I said YET) about my job situation, she goes, 'Have you prayed about it?' I have never been so happy to hear that question asked. God is totally helping me out by giving me awesome people to talk to.
Wisdom ROCKS.
Today was a rough day - just thinking about the alternatives ahead of me and not knowing exactly what the right path is. I've talked to many people, all of whom have spent their precious time listening to me ramble and giving me great advice. Each time I talk to someone, I get a little more insight into the situation, as each person said something I never thought about or reminded me of something I knew. I kept thinking that I had 3 offers, but a friend pointed out that I CAN keep looking if I didn't like them. I kept thinking that I wanted to make a decision by Friday, but a friend pointed out that I can make them wait if I don't have an answer by then. I thought perhaps I can justify taking the safer desk job by being free after 5pm everyday to do whatever God calls me to do. But I also should be using the gifts that God gave me at the workplace. What if I fail at the more challenging position? Well, if it doesn't work out after a couple of years, leave and do something else, you can always get a desk job later.
God's really awesome, He's surrounded me with great people who have been very supportive. I talked to a new friend (he used to be a pastor) this evening about this whole job thing, and he was so encouraging and prayed for me over the phone and suggested that I read this book on knowing the will of God. He also suggested I look through bible.org, where I found an article on 'wisdom and the will of God', which I read through briefly. It's interesting because in the article it quoted Proverbs a lot, because it's a book about God's wisdom written by the wisest man, King Solomon, to have lived or ever will live. Just earlier today I read about King Solomon and how he prayed for a heart of discernment and understanding during his reign and God honored his request (I am reading the Old Testament through so it 'just so happened' that I read about him today).
After dinner, I said to my dad that my biggest 'fear' is that I will make the wrong decision. He said something that I'd heard before but it really hit home when he said it. "We've all been praying that God is going to lead you in this next step, and we trust that He is in control and will lead you. So if He is leading you, then whatever you choose IS the right decision, you have to have faith in that." Awesome. Before he went to bed, he came in my room with a piece of paper and he says to read it before I go to sleep. It said 'James 1: 5-8'. I knew it was the verses about wisdom. I looked it up and saw that these verses were underlined in my Bible. "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting..." AMEN. God is cool.
In the middle of my conversation with my cousin Jessica (who does not yet believe in God, yes I said YET) about my job situation, she goes, 'Have you prayed about it?' I have never been so happy to hear that question asked. God is totally helping me out by giving me awesome people to talk to.
Wisdom ROCKS.
Monday, April 21, 2008
MMPI®-2
So I have been out of the job-search scene for 5 years. A lot must have changed, because I don't remember being tested during the interview process so much. I have interviewed with 3 companies and every one of them asked me to take at least one test. One was an excel-based test, which I think I passed with flying colors (if I hadn't, I should give back every dime of my paycheck from my previous employer). Another was a business-sense/personality test focused on ability to work in a sales and client service position. I passed because I did well on 3 areas, but it's funny, I failed in the other 2 areas - according to the test, I lack a drive for success and ability to adapt. I find this interesting because I don't think I am either, although I don't define success the way most people do. I might have answered the questions 'too' honestly, but that was my intention going into it. If I 'failed' it by answering the questions as honestly as possible, then it's not the job for me. Although I felt like I was in high school again, these two tests were for the most part applicable to the type of job I was interviewing for, and were fairly interesting to take.
Today, I took the tests at the 3rd company. Yes you read correctly - tests - plural. I spent about 3 hours taking tests, the first one of which was the weirdest test I have ever taken. I was almost IN SHOCK at how irrelevant and inappropriate some of the statements were (it's a 500+ question true and false test). I was in a room by myself, and when I started to realize how ridiculous the test was, I started writing down some of the statements so I can share with my readers. I would have paid $100 to have someone, anyone, I knew in that room with me. We would have been on the floor in fits of laughter. I actually laughed aloud on several occasions because I was so amused, and in some instances, so disturbed. I was told to answer every question, so I followed the directions. Here were some of the 'weirdest' statements I had to respond to. Remember, this is for a JOB INTERVIEW!
- my sex life is satisfactory (uh, where is the not applicable option?)
- I am very seldom troubled by constipation (WHAT?!?!)
- Evil spirits possess me at times (would anyone say yes to this?)
- I sometimes tease animals (LOL)
- I believe I am being plotted against (there were several others similar to this)
- I sometimes wish I were a girl (if you are a girl, I have never been sorry to be a girl)
- I like to flirt (I actually spent time thinking about how I would define 'flirt')
- I have no trouble swallowing (do I need to elaborate on this one?)
I actually thought about Jessica's friend Boey, whom I met last week, when I was taking this test. I think because I spent so many hours around him and we have a similar sense of humor, and I could actually hear him saying these statements and laughing hysterically. I can't believe he has somehow migrated from Jessica's blog to my blog too.
So back to the test. I knew it was a standardized personality test, but is it really necessary or even appropriate? The themes of the statements revolved around mental health (suicide), physical health (headache, chest pains, numbness), paranoia (being followed, someone out to get you), and sex. Only about 25% of the questions seemed fun and normal - like, I would like to be a librarian. I thought about how I'd like scanning the barcodes with the laser pen and stamping the date on the back cover of the books that people are checking out. But I would hate to alphabetize and put the books back on the shelves. I did that in high school as my 'volunteer work' (what was I thinking) and got a lot of dust in my face from reorganizing books that no one reads. So I said false.
I decided to write down the name of the test - Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory®-2 - so I can look it up online to see what it's trying to test for. Here's one description I found: "Relevant to a range of contemporary applications, the MMPI-2 instrument remains the most widely used and widely researched test of adult psychopathology. Used by clinicians to assist with the diagnosis of mental disorders and the selection of appropriate treatment methods, the MMPI-2 test continues to help meet the assessment needs of mental health professionals in an ever-changing environment." I took a test on adult psychopathology, for diagnosis of mental disorders?! LOL. So amusing. After all this talk, it would be hilarious if the test results show that I'm crazy ....
Any thoughts, Pascual?
Today, I took the tests at the 3rd company. Yes you read correctly - tests - plural. I spent about 3 hours taking tests, the first one of which was the weirdest test I have ever taken. I was almost IN SHOCK at how irrelevant and inappropriate some of the statements were (it's a 500+ question true and false test). I was in a room by myself, and when I started to realize how ridiculous the test was, I started writing down some of the statements so I can share with my readers. I would have paid $100 to have someone, anyone, I knew in that room with me. We would have been on the floor in fits of laughter. I actually laughed aloud on several occasions because I was so amused, and in some instances, so disturbed. I was told to answer every question, so I followed the directions. Here were some of the 'weirdest' statements I had to respond to. Remember, this is for a JOB INTERVIEW!
- my sex life is satisfactory (uh, where is the not applicable option?)
- I am very seldom troubled by constipation (WHAT?!?!)
- Evil spirits possess me at times (would anyone say yes to this?)
- I sometimes tease animals (LOL)
- I believe I am being plotted against (there were several others similar to this)
- I sometimes wish I were a girl (if you are a girl, I have never been sorry to be a girl)
- I like to flirt (I actually spent time thinking about how I would define 'flirt')
- I have no trouble swallowing (do I need to elaborate on this one?)
I actually thought about Jessica's friend Boey, whom I met last week, when I was taking this test. I think because I spent so many hours around him and we have a similar sense of humor, and I could actually hear him saying these statements and laughing hysterically. I can't believe he has somehow migrated from Jessica's blog to my blog too.
So back to the test. I knew it was a standardized personality test, but is it really necessary or even appropriate? The themes of the statements revolved around mental health (suicide), physical health (headache, chest pains, numbness), paranoia (being followed, someone out to get you), and sex. Only about 25% of the questions seemed fun and normal - like, I would like to be a librarian. I thought about how I'd like scanning the barcodes with the laser pen and stamping the date on the back cover of the books that people are checking out. But I would hate to alphabetize and put the books back on the shelves. I did that in high school as my 'volunteer work' (what was I thinking) and got a lot of dust in my face from reorganizing books that no one reads. So I said false.
I decided to write down the name of the test - Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory®-2 - so I can look it up online to see what it's trying to test for. Here's one description I found: "Relevant to a range of contemporary applications, the MMPI-2 instrument remains the most widely used and widely researched test of adult psychopathology. Used by clinicians to assist with the diagnosis of mental disorders and the selection of appropriate treatment methods, the MMPI-2 test continues to help meet the assessment needs of mental health professionals in an ever-changing environment." I took a test on adult psychopathology, for diagnosis of mental disorders?! LOL. So amusing. After all this talk, it would be hilarious if the test results show that I'm crazy ....
Any thoughts, Pascual?
Sunday, April 20, 2008
First Piece of the Puzzle
A few posts ago I mentioned that I needed to put down the 'first piece of the puzzle' of my life before the other pieces can fit around it. In the back of my mind, I thought the puzzle piece was my job. How can I figure out where I live or what I do outside of work if I have no idea where I am going to work? But then two weeks ago, I received this awesome revelation from God one weekend. First, I went to a Friday night service and heard a very powerful testimony, where 20-some people accepted Christ at the end of the service. It reminded me of the urgency in sharing the gospel with others and how many people don't yet know the love of God. Then the next day at brunch, a girlfriend of mine gave me advice (from a secular point of view) but that I believe the Lord used to tell me something. She said, 'Tree, you're a smart girl. You can find a job anywhere. You should live where you're going to happy." Wow. That's awesome. Where would I be happy, I asked myself. I'd be happy serving God where He wants me to serve. It was then that I started thinking, perhaps I was scared of limiting myself to one geographic area because I didn't know if I was going to find a job, but hiding behind the excuse that I am trying to be as open and as flexible as possible so God can tell me where to go. Perhaps God has already told me where to go, and I've just been too scared to accept it. The next day, the pastor taught on 'seeking FIRST His kingdom and His righteousness'. He used the example of how we say things like, 'God, please give me a great job and a great salary, then I will serve you with all my heart.' It says to SEEK FIRST His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things (things that we need) shall be added to you (Matthew 6:33). Ding Ding Ding! The first piece of the puzzle is not my job. It's where He wants me to serve. And I believe it's where I currently am.
So, I am staying in the New Jersey area.
Shortly after the revelation, I began to make the transition towards getting my mindset on living, commuting, going to church in NJ. I am trying to be in tuned to opportunities that the Lord is placing in my path and the doors that He's opening for me. I know He has an awesome plan for me this year, and I am glad that He gave me my first piece of the puzzle. I don't ever want my job to be a form of bondage, and I don't ever want to be defined by or valued based on my job title or what I do at work. A job is no different from worldly knowledge, money, possessions, our physical bodies in that they are all temporary and insignificant when compared to the eternal things like knowing Christ.
In fact, I was emailing Elena (the friend that I went on the cross-country roadtrip with) about how I am almost afraid to start work full-time, that once I start I might fall back into the routine of work-play-sleep and lose focus on what's important in life. She said she felt the same way, and that she's looking for a part time position to pay the bills but will allow her to continue to pray from midnight to 6am every day (part of a prayer room at a school that she's been at for 6 months). That is so awesome and encouraging. She is such a prayer warrior and has an urgent and strong passion to seek after the heart of God. I am so thankful that I have brothers and sisters in the Lord who are great examples and sources of encouragement for me in my own spiritual walk!
So, I am staying in the New Jersey area.
Shortly after the revelation, I began to make the transition towards getting my mindset on living, commuting, going to church in NJ. I am trying to be in tuned to opportunities that the Lord is placing in my path and the doors that He's opening for me. I know He has an awesome plan for me this year, and I am glad that He gave me my first piece of the puzzle. I don't ever want my job to be a form of bondage, and I don't ever want to be defined by or valued based on my job title or what I do at work. A job is no different from worldly knowledge, money, possessions, our physical bodies in that they are all temporary and insignificant when compared to the eternal things like knowing Christ.
In fact, I was emailing Elena (the friend that I went on the cross-country roadtrip with) about how I am almost afraid to start work full-time, that once I start I might fall back into the routine of work-play-sleep and lose focus on what's important in life. She said she felt the same way, and that she's looking for a part time position to pay the bills but will allow her to continue to pray from midnight to 6am every day (part of a prayer room at a school that she's been at for 6 months). That is so awesome and encouraging. She is such a prayer warrior and has an urgent and strong passion to seek after the heart of God. I am so thankful that I have brothers and sisters in the Lord who are great examples and sources of encouragement for me in my own spiritual walk!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
EEK! My camera is dead!
So a few days ago, I decided to bring my camera with me before I left the house. When I tried turning it on, it made a scratchy noise as the lens came out of the camera. Uh-oh, that did not sound right. I look on the camera screen, everything is blurry. I tried zoom, still blurry. I turn the camera off, the lens go back into the camera with the same scratchy sound. My camera of nearly 4 years is officially DEAD. Sigh... it's been with me through so much. All the pictures on this blog, seen through the eyes of my Canon PowerShot SD300. It's been good to me, may it find peace in camera heaven.... with the old school non-digital cameras. Although, my parents' old school camera of 20 years is still fully functional.... go figure.
First hint that your camera may be broken....
First hint that your camera may be broken....
Saturday, April 12, 2008
HIIIIIIIAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
If I asked someone to use as many adjectives to describe me as possible, I would be willing to bet that 'aggressive' and 'confrontational' would not be at the top of that list. This morning I attended an hour long women-only seminar on an introduction to seido karate. I thought it'd be a fun way to get some exercise. What I did not realize was that we had to SHOUT as we did the exercises!
People who know me know that I don't shout. When the leader of the seminar (I don't know what they're called, master?) made each of us individually do some crazy combination of shouting and punching and kicking, I laughed and said I don't have any aggression right now. But she was insistent on me doing it by taunting me! I thought about it, and said to myself, what the heck, I know I sound and look ridiculous but who cares what other people think. Sometimes I should just stop caring about making a fool of myself and see it as a challenge to try something new. So I went with the flow. I yelled a hundred HIIIIAAAAHHHHHH's as I kicked and elbowed and punched. At one point, everyone was gathered around watching me get picked on as the main karate lady held up a pad and made me do a set of kneeing her (the pad) in the groin as hard as I could as I HIIIAAAHHHHHed. Everyone was really supportive and applauded when I was done. It felt good to try even though it's out of character for me.
All in all, it was a fun experience. Intimidating, but a bit empowering and exhilarating at the same time. For those of you that need to get out some aggression, I highly recommend taking these classes. As for me, I rarely feel aggression, I'm not sure if it's a negative thing, I prefer to let things go and just be at peace. I don't think it necessarily means that I'm passive, I just don't like to let things bother me if it really doesn't matter. But I guess if I were in a life-threatening situation I can't just be like la-di-da-la-di-da and hope the person goes away. Although I have wondered what my reaction would be if I did get cornered in a dark alley. I wouldn't be surprised if I tried to talk some sense into the person. Maybe that will throw him off......
So after the seminar, I went with a couple of girls to brunch in the west village and then got our nails done! It felt SO great to get my nails done, it's been months! I guess I felt guilty spending money on my nails after I quit my job. I love the rare self-pampering days :)
People who know me know that I don't shout. When the leader of the seminar (I don't know what they're called, master?) made each of us individually do some crazy combination of shouting and punching and kicking, I laughed and said I don't have any aggression right now. But she was insistent on me doing it by taunting me! I thought about it, and said to myself, what the heck, I know I sound and look ridiculous but who cares what other people think. Sometimes I should just stop caring about making a fool of myself and see it as a challenge to try something new. So I went with the flow. I yelled a hundred HIIIIAAAAHHHHHH's as I kicked and elbowed and punched. At one point, everyone was gathered around watching me get picked on as the main karate lady held up a pad and made me do a set of kneeing her (the pad) in the groin as hard as I could as I HIIIAAAHHHHHed. Everyone was really supportive and applauded when I was done. It felt good to try even though it's out of character for me.
All in all, it was a fun experience. Intimidating, but a bit empowering and exhilarating at the same time. For those of you that need to get out some aggression, I highly recommend taking these classes. As for me, I rarely feel aggression, I'm not sure if it's a negative thing, I prefer to let things go and just be at peace. I don't think it necessarily means that I'm passive, I just don't like to let things bother me if it really doesn't matter. But I guess if I were in a life-threatening situation I can't just be like la-di-da-la-di-da and hope the person goes away. Although I have wondered what my reaction would be if I did get cornered in a dark alley. I wouldn't be surprised if I tried to talk some sense into the person. Maybe that will throw him off......
So after the seminar, I went with a couple of girls to brunch in the west village and then got our nails done! It felt SO great to get my nails done, it's been months! I guess I felt guilty spending money on my nails after I quit my job. I love the rare self-pampering days :)
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Alice's Teacup
What a beautiful Saturday we had yesterday! I met with a few girlfriends in the city for afternoon tea and delicious snacks. See the serving dishes in the picture? Yeah, that was for 2 of us, hahaha! I don't know why I am still amazed at how much fun it is to chat with girls over food :)
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Castles Made of Sand
I cannot believe it's April. I've been slacking off in writing my blog these past 3 weeks, mostly because I don't have any interesting pictures to post. I am in my PJs at my parents' house 75% of the time. I LOVE being in PJs all day long.
So what have I been doing since I got back from my trip halfway around the around?
1) getting over jet lag which took nearly a week
2) slowly applying for jobs that don't require 75-hour work weeks
3) going to an all-female gym with my mom a few mornings a week, it's embarrassing, the seniors are in better shape than I am
4) working part-time as a consultant, imagine that, I can make money sitting in front of my computer at home, in PJs
5) going to a Chinese Christian church with my parents on Sunday, and really enjoying meeting new people
6) taking walks with my parents when it's not frigid out
7) forcing myself to read the WSJ everyday, which is filled with bad news on top of more bad news
8) meeting up with my sister and friends in the city when I get the chance
9) enjoying not having to clean, cook, or do laundry (I know, it's horrible to take advantage of the situation, but it's been 8 years since I've lived at home and I do the dishes occasionally!)
10) building up my faith in the Lord, in believing that He's going to lead me in the direction He wants me to go!
#10 is easier said than done. On most days, I am not worried that I don't have a job in one of the worst markets since the Great Depression, or that I have no clue what my life-plan looks like. And on my off-days, I start second-guessing decisions I've made or feel anxious about all the unknowns in my life. But God always saves me from my doubts and reminds me to depend on Him. The truth is, I really don't have anything or anyone else I can rely on, with any aspect of my life right now. I think these past 7+ months have really helped me to learn to trust in the Lord, to relax, and to re-prioritize the goals that I have. It's almost as if the Sabbatical prepared me for the situation that I am now facing. When I made the decision to quit my job and take time off in the beginning of 2007, I had no idea that the financial market would be in the state that it's currently in. It literally crumbled within a matter of months. I was reading in the WSJ today that many baby boomers who are at retirement age have recently made the decision to continue working or go back into the workforce, due to fear that they won't have enough money to retire on. It is a scary situation to be in, if one places too much value on materialistic things or if one can only depend on oneself.
I've been reading Philippians recently, and some of the verses are just so powerful and relevant. I love 3:7-8 where Paul says 'what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ...I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ...for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him'. And 4:11-13 where he says '...for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me'. All things compared to Christ is 'rubbish'! When we truly understand that, why would we ever need to be anxious for anything?! Christ is the only thing that can bring true fulfillment in our lives.
I heard a testimony a couple of months ago from this guy who was in Iraq for 5 years. His relationship with God grew stronger during his time there, as he knew he had no one else he could depend on. The greatest revelation that he received from the Lord was when he was lying on the ground face down, some distance away from the bunker where he needed to run to, with bombs flying overhead and going off all around him. Too afraid to get up and run towards the bunker, he just laid there and dug his fingers into the dirt as hard as he could. He thought, 'I'm going to die here'. And then these thoughts flashed through his mind - how much money he had in the bank, his family, his friends, etc. and at that moment, he realized that if he were to die right then and there, none of those things that seemed so important on earth will matter. He can't take any of it with him. The only thing that is eternal, that he can take with him, is his relationship with God.
Which brings me to a similar topic on my mind recently - how quickly and how far we can fall when our foundations are not built on Christ. Today I saw a headline called 'Wall Street Castles Made of Sand'. It reminded me of Matthew 7:24-27 when Jesus says that whoever does not listen to and obey His Word will be 'like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall'. When you look at these financial giants that pride themselves on their ability to generate huge profits, come up with new and complex products, and where the top executives make millions of dollars a year, it's difficult to imagine them in their current state just a couple of years ago. When you look at certain high profile, high level government officials (I won't mention any names here) we don't expect them to 'mess up' the way they do. But the reality is, when your ultimate trust is in yourself and not in God, you're bound to fall. 1 Corinthians 10:12 says 'therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall'. So true, so true.....
Anyway, these are the things that are on my mind lately and a summary of what I've been up to. There are a lot of moving parts in my life right now, and there is so much that I want to do. But I need to take it one step at a time. That first piece of the puzzle needs to be placed in the appropriate spot before any of the other pieces can fit around it. I hope to post another update soon, with good news!
So what have I been doing since I got back from my trip halfway around the around?
1) getting over jet lag which took nearly a week
2) slowly applying for jobs that don't require 75-hour work weeks
3) going to an all-female gym with my mom a few mornings a week, it's embarrassing, the seniors are in better shape than I am
4) working part-time as a consultant, imagine that, I can make money sitting in front of my computer at home, in PJs
5) going to a Chinese Christian church with my parents on Sunday, and really enjoying meeting new people
6) taking walks with my parents when it's not frigid out
7) forcing myself to read the WSJ everyday, which is filled with bad news on top of more bad news
8) meeting up with my sister and friends in the city when I get the chance
9) enjoying not having to clean, cook, or do laundry (I know, it's horrible to take advantage of the situation, but it's been 8 years since I've lived at home and I do the dishes occasionally!)
10) building up my faith in the Lord, in believing that He's going to lead me in the direction He wants me to go!
#10 is easier said than done. On most days, I am not worried that I don't have a job in one of the worst markets since the Great Depression, or that I have no clue what my life-plan looks like. And on my off-days, I start second-guessing decisions I've made or feel anxious about all the unknowns in my life. But God always saves me from my doubts and reminds me to depend on Him. The truth is, I really don't have anything or anyone else I can rely on, with any aspect of my life right now. I think these past 7+ months have really helped me to learn to trust in the Lord, to relax, and to re-prioritize the goals that I have. It's almost as if the Sabbatical prepared me for the situation that I am now facing. When I made the decision to quit my job and take time off in the beginning of 2007, I had no idea that the financial market would be in the state that it's currently in. It literally crumbled within a matter of months. I was reading in the WSJ today that many baby boomers who are at retirement age have recently made the decision to continue working or go back into the workforce, due to fear that they won't have enough money to retire on. It is a scary situation to be in, if one places too much value on materialistic things or if one can only depend on oneself.
I've been reading Philippians recently, and some of the verses are just so powerful and relevant. I love 3:7-8 where Paul says 'what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ...I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ...for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him'. And 4:11-13 where he says '...for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me'. All things compared to Christ is 'rubbish'! When we truly understand that, why would we ever need to be anxious for anything?! Christ is the only thing that can bring true fulfillment in our lives.
I heard a testimony a couple of months ago from this guy who was in Iraq for 5 years. His relationship with God grew stronger during his time there, as he knew he had no one else he could depend on. The greatest revelation that he received from the Lord was when he was lying on the ground face down, some distance away from the bunker where he needed to run to, with bombs flying overhead and going off all around him. Too afraid to get up and run towards the bunker, he just laid there and dug his fingers into the dirt as hard as he could. He thought, 'I'm going to die here'. And then these thoughts flashed through his mind - how much money he had in the bank, his family, his friends, etc. and at that moment, he realized that if he were to die right then and there, none of those things that seemed so important on earth will matter. He can't take any of it with him. The only thing that is eternal, that he can take with him, is his relationship with God.
Which brings me to a similar topic on my mind recently - how quickly and how far we can fall when our foundations are not built on Christ. Today I saw a headline called 'Wall Street Castles Made of Sand'. It reminded me of Matthew 7:24-27 when Jesus says that whoever does not listen to and obey His Word will be 'like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall'. When you look at these financial giants that pride themselves on their ability to generate huge profits, come up with new and complex products, and where the top executives make millions of dollars a year, it's difficult to imagine them in their current state just a couple of years ago. When you look at certain high profile, high level government officials (I won't mention any names here) we don't expect them to 'mess up' the way they do. But the reality is, when your ultimate trust is in yourself and not in God, you're bound to fall. 1 Corinthians 10:12 says 'therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall'. So true, so true.....
Anyway, these are the things that are on my mind lately and a summary of what I've been up to. There are a lot of moving parts in my life right now, and there is so much that I want to do. But I need to take it one step at a time. That first piece of the puzzle needs to be placed in the appropriate spot before any of the other pieces can fit around it. I hope to post another update soon, with good news!
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