Wisdom

So this week has been a bit stressful in terms of job interviews and potentially making a decision by Friday about where I'm going to spend 40+ hours per week for at least the next couple of years. When I thought about not being able to spend such a beautiful weekday like today sitting in the back yard, looking at the sky, trees, flowers and squirrels, I got a bit sad.

Today was a rough day - just thinking about the alternatives ahead of me and not knowing exactly what the right path is. I've talked to many people, all of whom have spent their precious time listening to me ramble and giving me great advice. Each time I talk to someone, I get a little more insight into the situation, as each person said something I never thought about or reminded me of something I knew. I kept thinking that I had 3 offers, but a friend pointed out that I CAN keep looking if I didn't like them. I kept thinking that I wanted to make a decision by Friday, but a friend pointed out that I can make them wait if I don't have an answer by then. I thought perhaps I can justify taking the safer desk job by being free after 5pm everyday to do whatever God calls me to do. But I also should be using the gifts that God gave me at the workplace. What if I fail at the more challenging position? Well, if it doesn't work out after a couple of years, leave and do something else, you can always get a desk job later.

God's really awesome, He's surrounded me with great people who have been very supportive. I talked to a new friend (he used to be a pastor) this evening about this whole job thing, and he was so encouraging and prayed for me over the phone and suggested that I read this book on knowing the will of God. He also suggested I look through bible.org, where I found an article on 'wisdom and the will of God', which I read through briefly. It's interesting because in the article it quoted Proverbs a lot, because it's a book about God's wisdom written by the wisest man, King Solomon, to have lived or ever will live. Just earlier today I read about King Solomon and how he prayed for a heart of discernment and understanding during his reign and God honored his request (I am reading the Old Testament through so it 'just so happened' that I read about him today).

After dinner, I said to my dad that my biggest 'fear' is that I will make the wrong decision. He said something that I'd heard before but it really hit home when he said it. "We've all been praying that God is going to lead you in this next step, and we trust that He is in control and will lead you. So if He is leading you, then whatever you choose IS the right decision, you have to have faith in that." Awesome. Before he went to bed, he came in my room with a piece of paper and he says to read it before I go to sleep. It said 'James 1: 5-8'. I knew it was the verses about wisdom. I looked it up and saw that these verses were underlined in my Bible. "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting..." AMEN. God is cool.

In the middle of my conversation with my cousin Jessica (who does not yet believe in God, yes I said YET) about my job situation, she goes, 'Have you prayed about it?' I have never been so happy to hear that question asked. God is totally helping me out by giving me awesome people to talk to.

Wisdom ROCKS.